Chao Bella

Helplessness is not a choice its…sometimes the only card you’re dealt.  And why, why should we kneel in the dirt for those we love, for love, for that which we know may hurt us much deeper, much later on?

Not sure.  All I know is we come into each others lives like a blessing and leave like a sugar lipped curse.

My girlfriend graduates from law school tomorrow, right now she’s in fetal position in my bed.  Tomorrow she will be too far away for me to love her but right now, she’s…sleeping.

And while she sleeps and the strongest of the spring winds carry, I am helpless.  I am helpless to be with her, to comfort her after a night of debauchery, helpless to drive her where she needs to go, helpless, motherf*cking stationary…

but not helpless to love.

Can we love, even when that is all we can do? Can we choose to take a back seat in the world and see where that takes us?

I miss her already. Her sweet body, snoring, curled up in a blanket while the Brooklyn wind blows.

Every once in a while you meet somebody that matters.

And every once in a while you have to say goodbye.

See you soon darling. As painful as it is…

Its not often that a man gets to be this sad…

And it feels good.


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